dear ....

Dear Sr. K.,

When you pulled my tank top out from under my blouse and told me I was fat because it was tight I got news for you, it’s suppose to be that way and I had many layers on that day, you should know since you were lifting them all up. The next day when you said, “oh, you eat very well” because I was wearing my fleece jacket also didn’t strike me the right way. Finally I dressed normally and you said, “You look ill”. I just want you to know my weight doesn’t fluctuate that much and that quickly-when I wear thick clothes I’m bound to look thicker but you need not worry about bringing that to my attention. Actually don’t ever mention my body shape again, I’m America, it starts to bother me, we have self-confidence issues.

Always the same underneath,
Dar


Dear lady down stairs,

When you slyly got me into your apartment and then ‘accidentally’ ran your hand from my back to my butt to show me the part of the dove (pigeon) that was white, you didn’t fool anyone. I see what you are doing and I just want to put it out there that I’m not interested, sorry.

Flattered,
Dar


Dear Power Outage,

It’s sunny outside, not a cloud in sight and it hasn’t rained in days, what the hell?

Annoyed,
Dar


Dear REI Sleeping Bag,

I love you. I’m sorry it’s been too hot for us to be together but now that the temperature is quickly dropping I’m glad we could rekindle our love. You are probably the greatest thing I brought to Namibia.

See you tonight love,
Dar


Dear Weather,

I get it winter is coming. Did you need to do it so quickly? Where’s the notice? I went to bed, woke up to go running to find I can see my breath. After running for 25 minutes I began to feel warm. It’s only March, give me a break.

Bitter-cold,
Dar


Dear Namibian Universal Health Care,

I love you and wish I could bring you home to America.

Healthy,
Dar