Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Lessons learned after 17 months in Africa…

1) Nothing is too rotten, moldy or disgusting when you are broke. Also if you’ve used a costly ingredient and the meal comes out bad/horrible, you eat it anyway.
2) I can change a flat/blown out tire on almost any terrain.
3) When you get a flat tire in a game park with a high lion population keep driving. It’s ok to ruin the rim rather than become a meal.
4) It’s worth the exercise to walk the long way on pavement rather than take the short cut in the bush and risk another encounter with a black mamba or any other snake in Namibia.
5) It’s all about how it looks. It doesn’t matter if your report is jiberish or your event is totally pointless if it looks nice and professional that’s all that matters. This is why we put official hospital stamps on EVERYTHING, including the envelope.
6) Corruption influences all people and you’ll be surprised by what people can be corrupted by, a t-shirt, cool drink, cell recharge?
7) Six large adults in a small sedan is considered a ride with room to spare.
8) Sometimes walking for three hours, washing all the clothes you brought to Africa or flossing is just something to keep you busy, no other purpose.
9) A mosquito net does more than protect from Malaria-more importantly it protects you from every other bug that will crawl/buzz around on you in the night and either bite or annoy the crap out of you.
10) Chocolate chips cookies can cure almost anything.
11) You’re eyes glaze over and you began to dream just like the locals when you talk about America, never mind it’s your home, now it’s only a magical place to believe in and hopefully visit.
12) An ink pen is worth getting in a fight over, especially after your first 10 go missing.
13) Better to not get harassed than to chance offending someone by not greeting a sketchy, drunk man as you pass by.
14) If you feel ugly just go walk around in the location and you’ll have at least 4 marriage proposals within 10 minutes, make the system work for you!
15) Words “Must” and “Now” and “Friend” will never have their simple meanings again.
16) I can accurately estimate when in the afternoon it will rain by the morning clouds.
17) Thou shouldn’t judge co-workers playing computer card games all day, give it a few months, you will be joining them.
18) If the locals warn you about lion/elephant or snake attacks you should listen and stay away from those places, there’s always truth to their warnings.
19) Sometimes baboons just don’t want to get out of the road no matter how many times you honk or threaten to run them over.
20) Although I work for the Ministry of Health I should not be surprised when I get dragged out of my office to attend an urgent Ministry of Agriculture, Water and Forestry meeting…didn’t even know we had that ministry in Outjo.
21) If it’s a perfect day outside you can expect the power to go out.
22) You’ll steal free wireless internet no matter where you can get it, it’s their fault for not locking their account.
23) Sometimes it’s worth buying less food and paying someone to clean your flat or do your laundry.
24) Ideas from the best intentions will probably fail.
25) Africa will win, it always does, don’t ever try to fight it just play along with it.

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