Lessons learned after 17 months in Africa…

1) Nothing is too rotten, moldy or disgusting when you are broke. Also if you’ve used a costly ingredient and the meal comes out bad/horrible, you eat it anyway.
2) I can change a flat/blown out tire on almost any terrain.
3) When you get a flat tire in a game park with a high lion population keep driving. It’s ok to ruin the rim rather than become a meal.
4) It’s worth the exercise to walk the long way on pavement rather than take the short cut in the bush and risk another encounter with a black mamba or any other snake in Namibia.
5) It’s all about how it looks. It doesn’t matter if your report is jiberish or your event is totally pointless if it looks nice and professional that’s all that matters. This is why we put official hospital stamps on EVERYTHING, including the envelope.
6) Corruption influences all people and you’ll be surprised by what people can be corrupted by, a t-shirt, cool drink, cell recharge?
7) Six large adults in a small sedan is considered a ride with room to spare.
8) Sometimes walking for three hours, washing all the clothes you brought to Africa or flossing is just something to keep you busy, no other purpose.
9) A mosquito net does more than protect from Malaria-more importantly it protects you from every other bug that will crawl/buzz around on you in the night and either bite or annoy the crap out of you.
10) Chocolate chips cookies can cure almost anything.
11) You’re eyes glaze over and you began to dream just like the locals when you talk about America, never mind it’s your home, now it’s only a magical place to believe in and hopefully visit.
12) An ink pen is worth getting in a fight over, especially after your first 10 go missing.
13) Better to not get harassed than to chance offending someone by not greeting a sketchy, drunk man as you pass by.
14) If you feel ugly just go walk around in the location and you’ll have at least 4 marriage proposals within 10 minutes, make the system work for you!
15) Words “Must” and “Now” and “Friend” will never have their simple meanings again.
16) I can accurately estimate when in the afternoon it will rain by the morning clouds.
17) Thou shouldn’t judge co-workers playing computer card games all day, give it a few months, you will be joining them.
18) If the locals warn you about lion/elephant or snake attacks you should listen and stay away from those places, there’s always truth to their warnings.
19) Sometimes baboons just don’t want to get out of the road no matter how many times you honk or threaten to run them over.
20) Although I work for the Ministry of Health I should not be surprised when I get dragged out of my office to attend an urgent Ministry of Agriculture, Water and Forestry meeting…didn’t even know we had that ministry in Outjo.
21) If it’s a perfect day outside you can expect the power to go out.
22) You’ll steal free wireless internet no matter where you can get it, it’s their fault for not locking their account.
23) Sometimes it’s worth buying less food and paying someone to clean your flat or do your laundry.
24) Ideas from the best intentions will probably fail.
25) Africa will win, it always does, don’t ever try to fight it just play along with it.

so long....

Dear Summer and Rainy Season,

Goodbye. It's clear you have migrated elsewhere for awhile. I will see you again in November. You're mood swings this year were entertaining and you will be missed.

Longing for the green and the clouds again,
Dar

It’s just silliness really….

The clouds returned today. I’m not sure why but their presence was so comforting, like a security blanket for me. We’ve been in the middle of rainy season for some time now and the rains have been harder than ever but then one day they just didn’t come. It’s not like it got less and less just one day Outjo didn’t have rain, worse-there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. A cloudless sky is always a sign of winter. It’s strange that the clouds completely disappear and all of the sudden the temperature starts to drop and you realize another season is coming. My time here is flying by. Already we are coming up on the end of March, it feels like it was just yesterday I said goodbye to California-that was almost 17 months ago. I can’t stop time, as hard as I try the weeks keep passing and I realize the end is near. Soon I will be saying goodbyes to the dear friends and co-workers I’ve made in Outjo not knowing if our paths will ever cross again. So back to today, the clouds returning makes me hopeful that winter is still off in the distance, that rainy season will last a little longer and that time in a sense will stand still or at least not go forward in my mind and I’ll have just a few more cloudy moments with Outjo.

SNAKES …. In Africa?

In a past blog or email back home I remember referring to snakes as mythical creatures. Everyone in Outjo would warn me of the snakes and yet I NEVER saw one. Over a year in Namibia and no snake that hadn’t been beaten to death by a co-worker and then placed on a stick to chase me around the hospital, ugh memories, has come within 10 feet of me. Well this rainy/snake season has already gotten off to a great start. I was wrong, they do exist, they are real.

About a few weeks ago I was walking to work after my lunch break when I just stopped and held my breath. I couldn’t believe it, on a paved road in the middle of town a long black/gray snake crossed directly in front of me. Long after the snake climbed over the curb and back into the bush surrounding our hospital (yes this is hospital ground) I just stood frozen. No, no way, not a real snake, and black, geeze it could be anything. I tried to convince myself it was just a garden snake. I couldn’t grasp the reality that it was more likely a black spitting cobra or worse a black mamba, both seriously poisonous. Without thinking I just ran across the street and proceeded to the hospital on the other side of the road (yeah there’s no snakes over here right, it just crossed the road).

Well shortly after my “encounter” the hospital informed me that a worker plowing the bush in front of the hospital came across a black mamba and killed it. Holy heck. There is no doubt in my mind it was the same snake. I can’t believe a saw a black mamba only feet away, I’m still just in awe, I’m so lucky and now completely terrified to go anywhere in Outjo. I mean it’s one thing in the bush but on paved roads, in town, ugh, I’m not safe anywhere and in a country without proper anti-venom, I’m so screwed if I get bit. My coworkers said, “I told you, you must be careful of snakes”. I can’t believe I thought I could live in an Africa snake-free, I’m such a fool.

To really add insult to injury, a week after the mamba incident I was doing my normal Sunday morning run (all in town and on paved roads) when I for some reason looked down rather than straight ahead as I normally do just in time to watch my foot almost step on a curled up sleeping puff adder. I screamed and jumped over the snake (thought that would be better than waking up a poisonous snake). A mother and child walking towards me looked alarmed and I gasped, “Snake!”, they quickly crossed the road. In one month a run in with two of Namibia’s “fun” snakes, ugh, I’m so over this. I want to go back to my world where snakes didn’t run wild over the streets in Outjo, actually life in America where snakes are never really an issue for me is sounding oh so good.

dear ....

Dear Sr. K.,

When you pulled my tank top out from under my blouse and told me I was fat because it was tight I got news for you, it’s suppose to be that way and I had many layers on that day, you should know since you were lifting them all up. The next day when you said, “oh, you eat very well” because I was wearing my fleece jacket also didn’t strike me the right way. Finally I dressed normally and you said, “You look ill”. I just want you to know my weight doesn’t fluctuate that much and that quickly-when I wear thick clothes I’m bound to look thicker but you need not worry about bringing that to my attention. Actually don’t ever mention my body shape again, I’m America, it starts to bother me, we have self-confidence issues.

Always the same underneath,
Dar


Dear lady down stairs,

When you slyly got me into your apartment and then ‘accidentally’ ran your hand from my back to my butt to show me the part of the dove (pigeon) that was white, you didn’t fool anyone. I see what you are doing and I just want to put it out there that I’m not interested, sorry.

Flattered,
Dar


Dear Power Outage,

It’s sunny outside, not a cloud in sight and it hasn’t rained in days, what the hell?

Annoyed,
Dar


Dear REI Sleeping Bag,

I love you. I’m sorry it’s been too hot for us to be together but now that the temperature is quickly dropping I’m glad we could rekindle our love. You are probably the greatest thing I brought to Namibia.

See you tonight love,
Dar


Dear Weather,

I get it winter is coming. Did you need to do it so quickly? Where’s the notice? I went to bed, woke up to go running to find I can see my breath. After running for 25 minutes I began to feel warm. It’s only March, give me a break.

Bitter-cold,
Dar


Dear Namibian Universal Health Care,

I love you and wish I could bring you home to America.

Healthy,
Dar